Where Indians Stare!

You are busy buying groceries in an Indian store and you get this feeling that you are being “watched”. You manage the uncomfortable feeling for a bit. But then it gets really annoying and you suddenly realize that you are picking up green chilies instead of cucumbers. You take a deep breath, straighten yourself and find the courage to turn around and finally look in to the eyes of the enemy…who in this case turns out to be an Indian lady in her late 40’s. And then it dawns on you that you are in an Indian grocery store and that there is no concept of privacy or “personal space” in here. It’s like you’re at a family function where someone just spread the rumor that you did something really disgraceful to the family and the community, and suddenly everyone starts looking at you like a culprit.

I have noticed this a lot in US, or maybe I have only started noticing this in the US and it always used to be the case. But one favorite hobby of many Indian males and females is to stare at people and not even feel bad about it. Sometimes I think that they are just curious, or rather too curious, but then you meet people who don’t even blink while they are staring at you knowing very well that you are looking at them intermittently to signal them to stop. And when you really want to walk up to the person and smack him/her and say “Stop staring you idiot and continue with what you really came here for. The nurse is calling your name and you can meet the doctor now!”…and the person gives you a naïve smile as if they were just born and can’t understand a word you’re saying. Arrgh!

And then there are those Indian restaurants where people wait inside the restaurant to be seated coz all the seats are taken and you are one of the lucky ones who made a reservation knowing this will be the case and are enjoying your food. This is the basically the worst place to be according to me. People will look at you as if you did a crime by making a reservation, and don’t even deserve to be there. Or some families with kids will go to the extent of saying to their hungry children “Bete jab us table wale uncle-aunty khana kha lenge tab humko table milegi aur hum khana khaenge. Bas thodi der aur” (Son, when the uncle-aunty sitting on that table have finished their food, we will get that table. Just hold on for a few more minutes). Then they will look at you and give you that naïve smile, while their kid will be wishing to god that you finish soon. Yeah rite, so now we are family and I’m supposed to feel sorry for that hungry kid for what is clearly your mistake? And where the hell is that moronic waiter who pointed at our table and told these people that they will be sitting here next?

In many Indian restaurants in the US, I feel, they give special attention to Non-Indians. It’s like we Indians are always going to come there no matter what and wouldn’t complain much or we “will understand”. It’s always some reason or another to ignore us. My wife and I had been to this south Indian restaurant last week. When we got to the restaurant on a Thursday evening, we were the only ones there. We figured at least we will get a good service. So a lady wearing a traditional Indian sari walks out of the kitchen and asks us where we would like to sit. We choose a table and settle down. The lady is just handing over the menu’s to us and was about to ask us something, when another couple walks in. And in the next 10 mins, 5 tables are full. Each of the table had couples and two of the tables had an Indian dude with a non-Indian Caucasian female (whom Indians living in India love to call ‘foreigners’). Initially, I thought that it was just a coincidence that the lady was attending to the 2 special tables. But later, as she was taking our order, the dude from one of the special table just looked at her and she immediately tells us “1 minute” and walks over to the other table. And before we know it, she is running to the kitchen and comes back with their dish personally serving it to them. Umm…ok! Weren’t we the first ones to come in? Basically, this continued for the rest of the time we were there, and she hovered around those two special tables a little too annoyingly close.

I sometimes don’t understand this treatment of Indians by our own people, but what do you say? Most people would listen to you and ignore, others would listen to you nod their head in all directions so you think they got you, and then they will ignore, still others will agree to you apologize to you, and wait till you walk a few feet away, and say “Indian hai lekin apne aap ko american samajhta hai” (Indian who thinks he’s an American). I know I sound like Ludacris from the movie crash, but hey, what can I say, I’m an Indian.