Feeling at home?

My all time favorite ghazal (is a poetic form consisting of rhyming couplets and a refrain) singer is Jagjit Singh. So Memorial Day weekend, my wife and I went to a live concert of Jagjit Singh at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center or NJPAC as it is commonly known. Being the over punctual people that we both are, we reached way ahead of time expecting difficulties in finding the place as this was our first visit to NJPAC and we wanted to make sure that we didn’t get in to any parking issues. If you know New Jersey, you know that Newark is not the kind of area you want to park your car roadside only to come out of the concert and not find your car - ever. So we took every precaution we could to go early and park at NJPAC parking close by.

So after we got to NJPAC and parked the car, we got to the entrance of the hall only to find that the main door was closed. After a long wait, we were let in to the main building at 7pm for an 8pm show. All along, I kept telling my wife that NJPAC organizers don’t know what they are doing, they should have opened the hall at 6pm, so we desi’s could settle in. If they think this is going to be as professional and easy as going to a non-desi concert they are in for a ‘big’ surprise. And I was right. As soon as the well dressed people waiting in lines knew that the doors were going to open, they shed all their professionalism and courtesy to give way to the true desi hiding beneath those costly attires. I advised my wife to stay behind for the first 10 minutes when the doors open as it will be like opening the door to a horse farm. And I was right, people went crazy, and started pushing and running in front of each other. Old ladies and men were the worst. You suddenly felt like you were at a rally trying to get ahead to see the president, only this was a hall where the show wasn’t going to start on time anyway.

After all the hassle of getting through the main door, we waited again in front of the hall entrance. There were stalls of snacks and drinks (hard drinks too) by the waiting area, which were catered and owned by NJPAC. Since most of the people waiting there were obviously hungry after spending so much energy getting in, they surrounded the stalls to gain some energy. The female caterers serving the stalls were very uncomfortable as the crowd was all around them, and some “smart” husbands even wanted to go behind the counters to get the “best” packed food and drinks for their wives. I mean come on you moron’s its packed food, how the hell is going back to the counter going to help. I reluctantly asked my wife if she wanted to have something, but looking at the crowd she was smart to say no. So we waited some more, and to keep our minds away from the stampede at the stalls, we started noticing the attires of everyone. Most people were dressed like they were attending a wedding reception. There were some smartly dressed couples, and some sophisticatedly dressed middle aged couples. But the majority were dressed either very casually (Jeans and colorful Tee’s) or very gaudily. And then there were a few that stood out completely. There was a Punjabi couple, where the guy was wearing cargo shorts. Can you believe it, cargo shorts and a T-shirt for a ghazal concert? This would have been fine if his wife was also casually dressed, but of course she had to show off her latest designer Indian dress and accessories to go along with it. Do these people even look at their partners while leaving their home and realize that they look badly dressed with each other? There was another elderly couple where the wife was properly dressed in traditional Indian sari, but “uncle ji” somehow decided that it was fashionable to wear sneakers with his crisp suit, which he was falling out of.

Finally, we got in to the hall, and there were some people rushing to get through even though the lady was telling everyone that the seats are marked so please don’t rush. But no, we have to force ourselves in, as if the world is coming to an end tomorrow and this is the last live concert we will ever see. So we get to our seats, and settle down, and the time is 7:50. My wife looks at the seats around us, and just as we are having our conversations, we start seeing flashes as people frantically start clicking pictures with their compact cameras. Couples go close to the stage which is ready for the singer, and want to take pictures with the stage as the background…huh? A few geniuses also asked their friends to click pictures of them while they were on a cell phone talking to other friends…in a concert hall? And just as I was watching this, I saw something unbelievable. I saw a guy carry his few months old baby in to the hall and sit in a row nearby. A few months old kid at a ghazal concert? Are you kidding me? As if this was disturbing, I saw another family bring in their 5 year old son. I mean who in their right mind brings kids to a ghazal concert. Anyway, I told my wife, that if any of the kids started talking or crying in between the concert, the parents had it from me. Of course the kids fell asleep even before the concert started. The row behind us was empty as the lights were going dim around 8:20 (I told you it would start late), and my wife tells me “thank god the row behind us is empty”, and I immediately told her that this is bad news, because this means the morons on the back seat will come in when the show starts and will be even more troublesome. And I was true to the word. The row behind us belonged to a Guajarati family of 4 maybe 5 people. They did come in late, and were the worst because they knew almost every song of Jagjit Singh and were singing along with him as a choir of bad voices. It was so annoying that after a while I lost interest in the concert and wanted to turn around and smack them to shut up. My wife was having her own problems with her neighboring lady, who kept stuffing her purse in between their seats and it kept hitting my wife. Of course the lady was only sophisticated enough to wear designer clothes and was not literate enough to apologize to my wife for shoving the purse. When do we desi’s ever apologize to other desi’s for our mistakes.

Best of all, when the initial announcements were made before Jagjit Singh came to the stage, the announcer said that please do not interrupt the show by taking photos when the concert is on, do not come near the stage, there is absolutely no videos allowed in the hall and no food or drinks are allowed inside the hall. Our desi fellow beings took offense of these orders, and made sure to break each one of these requests. When Jagjit Singh came on stage, there were hundreds of flashes, and as every song started playing there were at least 2 or 3 people who came up close to the stage and took photos of the ghazal maestro while he was singing, some even with their cell phones. My neighbor took out his ultra sleek Canon camera with video recording and started recording when his favorite song started playing. And in between when there was a break of 20 minutes, one family of 7-10 people became comfortable in their seats, and the ladies pulled out snacks and candies and bottled water from their magical bags, and started distributing them to their family members. I showed my wife the beautiful sight, and reminded her of the sign that was posted on every door and on the walls of the hall entering inside. The sign read “No food or drinks allowed inside the hall”. I’m sure these people read the sign and took offense. Awe…doesn’t it feel like we’re right at home?